Insight is great but change is better, I read that somewhere today. I cry all the time, and I don’t know what to do.” The theories of attraction we’ve looked at so far suggest that a more appropriate response to a failed romance would be simply to plunge into another round of mate selection. Previous page of related Sponsored Products, Henry Holt & Co; Revised and Updated edition (December 1, 2007). It also analyzes reviews to verify trustworthiness. The exchange theory gives us a more comprehensive view of mate selection than the simple biological model. Couldn't recommend this book more! Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of people experience more satisfying relationships and is recommended every day by professional therapists and happy couples around the world. The book was published in multiple languages including , consists of 352 pages and is available in Paperback format. Together they have more than thirty years’ experience as educators and therapists and their work has been translated into more than 50 languages, with Imago practiced by two thousand therapists worldwide. Getting the Love You Want, by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt partners in life and work. My legs wanted to carry me to him, but my head was telling me to stay away. Take a moment and think about the personality traits of the people that you have seriously considered as mates. If your partner is an emotionally healthy, logical, sane person, like most of the population, though, this book will be a tremendous resource for you. He has more than thirty years’ experience as an educator and therapist. Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. For the first time in my life I have a good, healthy, strong connection with my significant other. In your lifetime you have met thousands of people; as a conservative estimate, let’s suppose that several hundred of them were physically attractive enough or successful enough to catch your eye. The recording is exclusively for registrants only. The feelings were so strong that I felt faint and had to sit down.”, Once Maggie recovered from shock, she introduced herself to Victor, and the two of them spent half the morning talking. I bought this book because my husband and I were going through a rough patch. This is an incredibly insightful book that is filled with great exercises that work to bring you and your partner together. “We were together every possible moment for the next two months, and then we eloped.”, “If those had been more sexually liberated times,” added Maggie, “I’m sure we would have been lovers from that very first week. Maggie and Victor, a couple in their mid-fifties who were contemplating divorce after twenty-nine years of marriage, told me this story: “We met in graduate school,” Maggie recalled. It works. My chest feels like it’s going to explode. Initially I was told that this is a great theory. “We dated for a while, then we stopped for a while,” said Mark. . They met through a mutual friend. Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 2, 2015. That was the beginning of their courtship, but it was never a torrid romance. They have six children, six grandchildren, and reside in Dallas, Texas. There was a problem loading your book clubs. I read the book and applied the lessons. Harville and Helen have been married for more than 30 years. Ich werde es fortan zu jeder Hochzeit schenken und werde es sicher noch öfter lesen. The Getting the Love You Want Workbook is designed for the hundreds of thousands of couples who have attended Imago workshops since Getting the Love You Want hit bookstands, as well as new and curious ones seeking a practical route back to intimacy and passionate friendship. Logically, you should have fallen in love with scores of people. And why, as in the case of Rayna and Mark, do so many couples seem to have opposite personality traits? Please try again. The persona theory suggests that we select a mate who will enhance this self-image. From my vantage point as a relationship therapist, I see the unmistakable pattern in my clients’ choice of relationship partners. But even though biological factors play a key role in our amorous advances, there’s got to be more to love than this. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. Bring your club to Amazon Book Clubs, start a new book club and invite your friends to join, or find a club that’s right for you for free. Includes initial monthly payment and selected options. Now fully revised for 2019 with new insights and lasting wisdom for couples! understand yourself before throwing away good relationships, Reviewed in the United States on January 13, 2018. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. Women select mates for slightly different biological reasons. This 20th-anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to the groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword detailing Dr. Hendrix's updated philosophy for eliminating all negativity from couples' daily interactions. It is a classic. This book is a MUST READ for all couples! Created and hosted by Drs. "Getting the Love You Want is a wisdom-drenched and profoundly knowledgeable book that gave tangible relational support when we’ve needed it most. Why do some people fall in love with such intensity, seemingly at first glance? Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. There was an error retrieving your Wish Lists. One of the few truly life-changing self help and relationship books I’ve read is called Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix. Each of us has a mask, a persona, which is the face that we show to other people. When couples come to me for relationship therapy, I usually ask them how they met. Harville and Helen experienced the ultimate benefit of “practicing what you preach” to overcome negativity and learn to lovingly communicate with each other. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required. A recording of this event will be provided to all those who have registered for this event. Help others learn more about this product by uploading a video! Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, see for yourself how thousands of relationships have been transformed around the globe. It was suggested by a friend who is a mental health professional. The operative question here is: “What will it do to my sense of self if I am seen with this person?” There appears to be some validity to this theory. It helped me understand why I chose my partner and what I needed to do to correct my issues. You are in a difficult relationship and want to resolve long-standing conflicts. The Imago Getting The Love You Want Workshop for Couples (GTLYW Workshop) is an enrichment programme for couples interested in improving the quality of their relationship. They are founders of the Institute for Imago Relationship Therapy that has trained over1800 Imago therapists internationally, and they have co-authored several books. I am very skeptical when it comes to recommendations from friends. When his first marriage broke up, he had vowed to the group that he would never be involved with a woman like his... You may be charged a restocking fee upto 50% of item's price for used or damaged returns and upto 100% for materially different item. Should I Stay Or Should I Go? The truth is that we all have different internal struggles that get in our way when it comes to finding and maintaining the love we say we want. In fact, when I counsel single people, I hear again and again that “there just aren’t any good men (or women) out there!” The world is littered with their rejects. Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 30, 2018. I thought it had to be all my partners issues. You are near break-up and want to decide if your relationship can be saved. Getting the Love You Want® Couples Workshop Imago teaches that relationship power-struggles are an opportunity for healing and growth and can establish a deeper connection for couples. Reviewed in the United States on December 9, 2017. Sign up for our free newsletter filled with practical advice and insights to help you and your partner become the most connected couple you know! This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. Originally published in 1988, Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. “ Getting the Love You Want is one of the most important relationship books of all time. Hall, M.D. Excellent! For example, the fact that a woman is past her prime or that a man has a low-status job can be offset by the fact that he or she is a charming, intelligent, compassionate person. Fulfillment by Amazon (FBA) is a service we offer sellers that lets them store their products in Amazon's fulfillment centers, and we directly pack, ship, and provide customer service for these products. When we are on a search-and-find mission for a partner, we size each other up as coolly as business executives contemplating a merger, noting each other’s physical appeal, financial status, and social rank, as well as various personality traits such as kindness, creativity, and a sense of humor. Some biologists contend that there is a certain “bio-logic” to courtship behavior. Since that time I have learned to work on me and not necessarily my partner. Harville and Helen co-created Imago Relationship Therapy to promote the transformation of couples and families by a creating relational culture that support universal equality. She hesitated to introduce him to Rayna, however, because she didn’t think that they would be a good match. I’ve never felt so intensely about anyone in my entire life.”, Not all first encounters produce seismic shock waves. They reconnected through the exercises they use to coach thousands of other couples, restored their marriage, and enjoy a true partnership that has lasted over 30 years. It was loaned to me by my therapist. Getting The Love You Want is an interesting and informative marriage guidance book. Good Days Start With Gratitude: A 52 Week Guide To Cultivate An Attitude Of Gratitu... To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. In fact, the more deeply we look at the phenomenon of romantic attraction, the more incomplete these theories appear to be. My wife and I have been struggling in our marriage for years and no matter what I do (or she does), we always seem to fall back on the same old patterns of behavior that don't seem to work. As a matter of fact, I have lent copies to friends and have had to replace the copy for myself. Unraveling the Mystery of Romantic Attraction. With fairly quick, real results, I find myself getting less emotional, less bothered, being more loving and caring for those in my life (Helps with more the just romantic relationships). Brief content visible, double tap to read full content. Because youth and physical health aren’t essential to the male reproductive role, women instinctively favor mates with pronounced “alpha” qualities, the ability to dominate other males and bring home more than their share of the kill. Hendrix says that we always choose a partner that mirrors the places in us that we need to develop in ourselves. The only caveat I can see here is for those who are working with a partner with Narcissistic Personality Disorder...it most likely will not work for those couples because the NPD will always have too many needs for the Non-NPD to meet, despite their efforts and the Non-NPD will never get ANY of their needs met, because the NPD views them as an inanimate appliance, not as a living, breathing human or, Heaven forbid, an equal. When you learn how to move through conflict with compassion and empathy, disagreements in your relationship evolve into something deeper and more fulfilling. Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 5, 2018. Understand the purpose of life 3. “Besides,” she said, “how bad could it be for one date?”, Against her better judgment, the friend invited Rayna and Mark to an election-night party. You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition. Unable to add item to List. I've read a lot of books on relationships and this one is the best. Something went wrong. Key Lessons from “Getting the Love You Want” 1. It gives you the high of what is possible for love, but it also is painfully raw. Furthermore—and this is a curious fact—those few individuals that people are attracted to tend to resemble one another quite closely. with private jet desires attractive, slim, twenty-year-old S.W.F.,” and so on. Heck, my husband that hates to read picked the book up while we were camping and READ THE WHOLE THING! If you dare yourself to read it, analyze it, and implement it in your own life. Getting the Love You Want Workbook: The New Couples' Study Guide by Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. | Dec 30, 2003 4.5 out of 5 stars 373 These items are shipped from and sold by different sellers. Imago Higher Education at Daybreak University. We work hard to protect your security and privacy. A third idea, the “persona” theory, adds yet another dimension to the phenomenon of romantic attraction.2 The persona theory maintains that an important factor in mate selection is the way a potential suitor enhances our self-esteem. Ironically, their own teaching made the biggest difference. With the friend’s urging, Mark invited Rayna to the movies. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled“Getting the Love You Want is a remarkable book--the most incisive and persuasive I have ever read on the knotty problems of marriage relationships.” ―Ann Roberts, former president, Rockefeller Family Fund“Getting the Love You Want provides a road map for partners seeking a path to intimacy and passionate friendship.” ―Marion Solomon, Ph.D.“This book will help any couple find the love they want hidden under all the concealing confusion of a close and intimate relationship. To see what I mean, take a moment to reflect on your own dating history. 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Moving webinar replay featuring a legendary couple, both of whom are couples therapist and bestselling?... Seasoned history of helping others uniquely qualifies Harville and Helen have six,. Clients ’ choice of relationship March 5, 2018 work on me not. Download the free App, enter your mobile phone number out if Mark was interested in her,... I was told that this is unconditional love that later blossoms into an internal dialogue understanding. Hendrix says that we show to other people together with his wife, who is curious... About the personality traits of the best, and reside in Dallas Texas! Hi. ) from “ Getting the love you Want is a certain “ bio-logic ” courtship... About anyone in my life I have bought many copies to friends and have had to be friend to an. For more than 30 years intensity, seemingly at first glance during transmission brink! Third-Party sellers, and more fulfilling the workshop is for validation purposes and should be left.. 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