* I think of worry as love going in the wrong direction. The 1964 Olympics are being aired, with Dawn Fraser competing, and his coach asks him if he would rather have swum there. The film ends in the pool at Harvard, where he obtains an excellent backstroke time, as his life and family flash before him as he swims. I closed my eyes, then opened them again when the dizziness started, focusing on naming the colors I saw (not the best time to have a room filled with sandy taupes and driftwood grays). Redirect that love that’s pointing in the wrong direction- aim it at yourself. Except it wasn’t sleep, and it wasn’t good. Instead, I had to learn who I was. You have to be still. There is such freedom in choosing Hope (Hope-y-ness) over Fear, and it is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, over and over and over again. I kept pretending, through an al fresco breakfast and even through a morning spent poolside engrossed in my book. However, with a little focus we can make a big difference in how we are feeling. So, for those of you who aren’t as intimately acquainted as I am with this World of Worry, let me first begin by welcoming you to the club.
Almost, dare I say, another f-word? You can’t be present for your kids when you are gripping so tightly onto the past and afraid of the future. You don’t have to be radical— just resigned. The face of afraid keeps changing constantly, and I can count on that change. . The one that almost caused a car accident occurred as I was driving home from the vet’s with Finny’s ashes. It’s scary and hard and breathtaking and impossible and the only way forward. . It was only when he found out that both Tony and John were good swimmers that Harold began to pay Tony any attention, and became their trainer. As long as you don’t mind a few curse words in between meditations and water breaks.
Eventually, however, the air runs out. I'll Leave This World Loving You #3. Your own “building blocks”- how you came to be who you are, the parent you are, today. Now more than ever, our world needs it. Fortunately, I have an amazing therapist, and I regularly get coached by fellow life coaches (I highly recommend it! My wish for you, and for myself, is to simply feel what you are feeling during this intense time. Sending your kid away is a radical, unnatural act.
If you’re interested in digging a little deeper into self-compassion, check out https://self-compassion.org, a website highlighting the work of Dr. Kristin Neff, one of the world’s leading experts on self-compassion. . . That was the explicit/outside message. I’m a collector of labels. . And only then will you be able to turn it around and give it away. Let’s go with the latter one.
Stuck in our pandemic bubbles, I’d like to encourage you to look for joy within– through the use of your imagination. While each of these titles has the word “parent” in it, the ideas and science behind them would benefit ALL of us– parents or not. And when I do finally get home, I’m greeted not by the shiny black nose poking out the door (the nose we always thought looked like the plastic ones glued onto teddy bears) but by the gut-punch of emptiness. And it was a “not-so-distant” then, if I’m being honest. But what about wanting to get rid of things you already had and most definitely did not want? And I’m a fierce comparison shopper– didn’t get the highest grade? It was relentless. And I’m not even going to touch on my fury about our current political and ecological climates (too overwhelming for just one blog post). and take a moment to think about the difference between what we show our kids and what our kids actually “see.” Take a deep breath. No, this is absolutely NOT Nirvana. And I’m tired. Yikes- that’s making me sweat a little. We can get so hung up on the past that we waste the present trying to either recreate it or get as far away from it as possible. I found myself in a bookstore the other day, and decided to browse through the parenting section, looking to see if there was a title I overlooked all those years ago that would have spoken to where I find myself today. I checked in and was so excited to see my spacious suite, barren of all the lived-in clutter that clogs up our home and cries out for my attention. And it’s okay. It’s both individual and collective. ), I thought I was showing him acceptance, building up his “toolbox” of coping strategies. Who I thought I was. It’s amazing how long you can last being oxygen-deprived at the altitude of everyday life. Is that my fault? How to develop healthy attachments to the ones we bring into our lives, where our happiness and our power come from within– we don’t give them away for others to control. (Some days, anyway.
and stress. He has also released nine studio albums, of which his first four have all been certified platinum by the Recording Industry… more », Sheet Music Initially the two swam different strokes, freestyle and backstroke, but Harold secretly shifted John to compete directly against his brother in state finals. My wings are still wet, but they are beautiful. Ahh, the holidays. Swimming Upstream lyrics: God bless my daddy, I learned so much from him He taught me at an early age I had to sink or swim He said, "Boy, that old river of life … Time management can also provide a respite from worry – allow yourself 5 or 10 minutes a day to write, say aloud, or think about all your worries, and then when the time’s up the worrying is done for that day. Oh how I suffered. It hardly seemed worth it to me to write anything at this time– so many others have done so much to help all of us manage our feelings, stay safe, keep active, and be informed– who am I to think I could add anything of value to these conversations? I do internal anger very well (or rather, I have a lot of it). Grief is just love with no place to go.” – Jamie Anderson. That potential that feels like kissing a baby’s sweet little head, or like a raucous laugh that bursts out of nowhere and comes with tears and side stitches. My worry is impressive in both size and scale, in its longevity and its endurance. I let go of trying to control it, and focused instead on one breath at a time, noticing the way the air felt in my nostrils- cool on the inhale, warmer on the exhale.
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